High School Blogging Competition

High school, it's either the best or worst years of your life. I'm a freshman, Class of 2020. I've been here for a month, and I hate everything about it.

My mom always says that I will find my genuine and fake friends throughout these four years.

I've already found a couple of fake ones, but I just want to focus on one.

We were best friends last year; we were un separatable. 

This year, I got replaced.

Oh, and she told me to fuck off.

For example, she said that she would take me to her cousin's hockey game this year, we are dressing up as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for Halloween,. 

Guess who got all that?

My replacement.

And you know who "my replacement" is?

She is one of my best friends, well...


Sometimes I feel like no one cares.

My best and happiest moments are outside of school.

I recently went to California to take a college tour, and my brother gave the tour.

Even thought it was hot and my feet were killing me, I was happy.

When I ate dinner with my parents, my brother, and my brother's girlfriend, I was happy.

When I visited Disneyland and lost my cartilage piercing, I was happy.

When I went to a beauty convention with friends who didn't go to my school, I was happy. 

When I went to a Melanie Martinez concert ALONE, I was beyond happy.

Center barricade is magical; but painful. 

I think I don't have many friends at school is because of my music taste and personality. 

I have many internet friends and have made lots of friends at concerts. 

I feel so alone and empty sometimes.

I often wonder,

"Who will miss me when I'm gone?"

Well, my family would.

Maybe my other friends would too...

Then I realize it's a selfish act.

If you have problems with family, then you're leaving it to your family to take care of. 

A mother or father would never recover from their child committing suicide. 

No matter how shitty I feel, how fat I feel, or how useless I feel, I should always think twice. 

Because in the long run, you don't know who it will affect.

But then the same girl texted me on Yom Kippur saying that she apologizes if she ever said anything bad or rude towards to me. 

Friendships are fluid, and if one thing happens it's not the end of the world.

I guess that's high school or life in general.

Well, she still doesn't talk to me but an apology doesn't hurt. 

I guess it'll just take some time or I'll have to move on.

And that was the worst welcome to high school ever.

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