Why me ?

Hey I'm Lurda Irwin I'm 17 and my brother is Ashton Irwin and we haven't seen each other for 7 years due to our parents divorce thats until a horrible tragedy is bestowed upon me.


1. chapter 1

"Why me ?" I always seem to ask myself this , why is it always me that has to deal with the everyday bullshit in my life.


By the way my names Lurda Irwin  im 15 and i have anxiety and lately I've been affected with an eating disorder, i always seem to have panic attacks around every corner of my mind and i swear i think i might be going mental.


I live in the uk which is alright cause it seems to be that the weather describes my mood perfectly all the time which is miserable with a small chance of hope which gets destroyed. Lately I've been forced to wear glasses as i am apparently "blind as a bat!" Which is false i can see perfectly sometimes.....


My parent recently got divorced and My dad took custody of me while my mum got my brother Ashton Irwin as in the famous drummer with a band called '5 seconds of summer' .


His band is good and all i listen to them daily when we lived together but now he's on tour with his band while I'm here in Australia when my dad insisted we move away to make a fresh start. To be honest i don't know why he try's so hard to make me happy , he knows he wont succeed and he doesn't.

I literally haven't seen my brother in 7 years and i don't remember him that much anymore until i completely forgot i even had a brother.

I went upstairs to my new room and decided it need to be decorated so i went up and put some posters of bands and movies and crap like that , my room was a light blue with white furniture and finally i have a king sized bed and a notebook air laptop with a iPhone 5c the yellow one.


I cut deeper and deeper until the blood was dripping down my arm in success of adding a new scar for another problem i faced. Ive been cutting myself for a while now well since i was 10 but now I'm 17, I've had many scars which have left story's behind them of my problems and fears.

After i hid away in my corner which i made in my room from some pillows and a book shelf with a stool , i had placed my favourite books which i underline a quote that i either loved or found interesting. Im that type of girl to act like she doesn't having nothing to hide but hides everything she possibly can and lets nobody see her true emotions.

"Time for bed you have work tomorrow !" Dad shouted from downstairs. By the way i work at Starbucks which i joined last week , i ignored him and went to the bathroom to dye my hair i had my plain boring blond hair but i wanted to shake it up a bit , i started searching for my mermaid aqua hair dye until i found it.

I was wearing a tye dye shirt from when i dyed it back in London i decided to make my hair pastel so i added some pink and violet as well so it went ombre.

When i finished I've had already washed it and blowed dried my hair, it came out really nice as well


I woke up the next morning without a care in the world and

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