With You In My Head

It was a dark and stormy night when I died and it was a dark and stormy night when I lived again. It was a dark and stormy night when I met him and it was a... wait, you don't get to know that yet. F!Hawke(OC)/Fenris. Fawkes (my name for the ship). Asperger's Syndrome!Hawke


1. CH1 - The Beginning...

With You In My Head

Chapter One - The Beginning...

To take a quote out of one of the books I read once,

"I'd never given much though to how I would die. But dying in place of someone I love, seems like a good way to go. I can't bring myself to regret the decisions that brought me face to face with death."

So, you might be wandering what that has to do with the story and the chapter title, when it's kind of obvious that it's starting with my death. Well... be patient, we'll get there. By the end of the chapter you should get it. And if not, there should be a small blurb about what happened in this chapter at the beginning of the next one. But I digress. This is a story about how I lived and died... and then lived again.

Have you ever heard of or played the game Blood 2? The main protagonist says these words at the very beginning of the game, "I live... again." If you have, that's great; if you haven't - go google it.

This story however has nothing to do with the game, so the previous paragraph is kind of redundant. Don't know why you read it, really. Don't really know why I wrote it, either. Anyway, before I go off on another completely useless tangent, I should really start the story properly, shouldn't I?

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.

… Wait, I'm not Edward Bulwer-Lytton. I shouldn't use his quotes. I shouldn't really use quotes from other works either. That would be plagiarizing. Sigh.

Well, it was a dark and stormy night, the rain did fell in torrents and the wind was howling, and it did happen in London... but that's where the real story does start! Don't hit me, I bruise easily.

The story starts with me walking down the street. I was walking as quickly as I could. I was wearing only a thin jacket because I went to the grocery store to buy some fish fingers and custard to eat while watching Doctor Who. Good stuff, I tell you. When I first saw the Doctor eat it, I was sceptic, but then I decided to try it out and I was hooked. So every time I watched the 11th Doctor I would have it for dinner. It also wasn't raining when I left the apartment, so I didn't take my umbrella with me. Go figure. I mean, it's London, I should really take an umbrella with me everywhere I went, even if it was only five blocks away.

I haven't always lived in London, as you can probably tell. I only recently immigrated to the United Kingdom from my home country, Slovenia, so I wasn't used to the climate change yet.

As another gust of wind sprayed yet more rain onto my glasses, I cursed yet again at my forgetfulness. Why could I remember useless trivia and other stuff but not remember to take my umbrella with me I will never understand.

By the time I was almost back at my apartment (only one block away!) I was also cursing my choice of shoes - the pink ballerinas were really not that great to walk in while the ground was wet. They made me trip and slide like I was drunk. With a sigh of relief I noticed that my apartment was across the street. I only had to walk over the pedestrian crossing and I would be home free.

That was when my luck seemed to have run dry. It happened when I was halfway across the crossing. I don't remember much of it - a lot of lights, a horn blaring and pain. I think I was run over by a car or a truck. Well, something hard anyway. I remember feeling floaty - does that mean that I was struck with so much force that I actually flew through the air? I wasn't feeling the pain yet, but when I hit the hard, wet floor, it hit me like a truck. Excuse the pun, I don't think I was thinking very clearly in that moment. I couldn't really feel my lower half of the body, did that mean my back was broken? I couldn't move my head to look at it, it was all a blur. I was getting colder by the second, and my eyesight was getting even blurrier than when I didn't have my glasses on.

I don't know what happened next. Well, I do, but I can't explain it.

Just before my eyesight went black there was a bluish figure in front of me and the air around me seemed to have changed color from dark blueish to sickly green.

It wasn't until much later that I understood that what I was seeing was the Fade and that the figure in front of me was a spirit. A spirit of Compassion.

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