1. They Call Me Beautiful

O/ - Chapter One – O/

They Call Me Beautiful

Ah, summer vacation was soon about to burn us all into the ground, no more rubbing our butt cheeks, our legs aching from sitting at the computers for so many weeks. Every day always the same routine, get up, drink, eat something, and then have an argument with my sister. Not long after that, I’ll then throw myself down the stairs, almost literally, and I’ll then be ready to have an argument with my mom, and she will then give me some breakfast to sob at. Weird? Yeah, we kind of this problem every morning where I can’t swallow the entire breakfast, and then my sister pours her milk in my face. Okay, come to think of it, I find it very weird from reading it alone.

Summer camp also around the corner, I couldn’t care less about whether my two best friends were going to hit it off or not. They told me that my sister is like the luckiest girl on this planet. What? Jacob? He doesn’t come close to the man I went out with, and I don’t think I can even call him a man. Between you and me, I kind of dislike guys like Jacob, attention seeking- oh wait, that’d be my sister. She’s always demanding attention, and my mom gives into her every single time.

I bet tomorrow morning, I’m going to wake to a big huge smug grin in my face, my sister covering me in her mucus. Well, I’m only guessing this due to her catching a virus. Oh, wow, she caught a virus on the first day of summer. I actually feel sorry for her; I just want her to know that I’m a great little sister who will always look after her when she is unwell. Problem is, I’ve got a life to get on with, a life that starts with me in the middle of it. She’s kind of like on the outside of this ‘middle me’ I don’t like her invading my private space, it’s private for a reason, gosh.

- 8:00 AM –

Huh? Oh, I’ve just ended up sleeping in a little longer than my usual sleeping pattern. No big deal, I’ve still got my two friends to annoy me, make me laugh, and then annoy me some more. I think my whole life is just one big pattern, it follows with annoyance, and then it somehow gets better? I don’t know how that works, believe me… I’ve tried my best to calculate this. Not really, my sister has- no, she can’t calculate anything to save her life. Again, between you and me, she only knows her 1x table. Don’t blame her for not knowing her other times tables, she lost it when she was three. I think my mom just told her one lesson to remember, and then she remembered it.

I remember my lesson being a little more adventurous, she told me not to kiss boys so I don’t find myself trapped in a life I won’t want to be in. Funny thing is, she was just talking about herself, but I never thought for a minute that dad was a bad guy. He always came across as loving, loyal, and so kind to his daughters. As for me? I came across as everyone’s worst nightmare. Mom too afraid to come near me sometimes, afraid I’ll pull her hair out or something. I last did that to my doll, but that doll was soon burnt to a crisp thanks to dad. I love him for doing that, he made me smile a little.

Mom settled for another guy, some beef cake that don’t quite know how to tie his own shoes. I’m more embarrassed to go out with him than I am with my own mother. I kid you not, I had to tie his laces for him several times one time went out to get some special birthday meal. Around the mall, I go alone, with him? Never. I think it’s suicidal to even consider it, and believe me, he has to be the highest level of making you want to close your eyes and let it be over.

- 8:30 AM –

So, I finally got out of bed after wasting more time pondering my own thoughts with others. Not long after that I threw myself down the stairs, this time ‘literally’ I just always had it in my dreams that one day I’ll throw myself down the stairs due to my own stupidity and not giving a F- (I almost said it), another thing you need to know about me is that I don’t really care whether you know me or not. It’s simply the circle of life, to me it’s my own dream land coming to life before my very eyes.

Kimi was about to lose her virginity to some guy she met over the internet. God, I think the amount of times I’ve watched her try to lose that is a little too much information. I wouldn’t tell you all this, but Kimi secretly lost her virginity to a guy back in Tokyo, she went there with her sister expecting a boring trip around the zoo. She came back guzzling a large amount of milk, and told me that I was overreacting. Funny thing was that she couldn’t even say my name, and she then started mumbling in her sleep over at our own sleep over that she had gotten what she wanted.

Now, you can me a ‘jumper’ someone who jumps to conclusions from what one hears. But I heard her say this in her sleep; ‘I loved the moment when he licked my left ear’ umm, and then I heard this: ‘oh you are my Tokyo flower’ – weird, huh? I think he got a little close to her, and Kimi doesn’t quite understand the ins and outs of a relationship. So, if she did manage to pull a guy that night, I’d believe her- she’s always throwing herself at others, and in tennis she threw herself into my arms. I think she just jumps at anyone she sees, like an annoying little flea. Don’t tell her I said that.

- 9:00 AM –

Well, it’s been quite a walk, I walked not too far away from the beach, I walked down the beach wanting to get some sand in my high heels. And then I enjoyed the view that had some large dude eating an ice cream. He blocked my view in other words, I posted that image on twitter expecting my friends to laugh at it. Instead, I was called a ‘freak’- my own two friends told me in secret messages that I was being way too mean towards larger people. Excuse me? I was sharing my thoughts and opinions on why I dislike the beach:

Lauren tweeted: “Don’t you just hate it when the Watersons 172 US MBT M1A1 Abrams RC Bantam Battle Tank blocks your view on the field?” I would be lying if I told you all that I didn’t just copy & paste that from Google. I tried to sound like I knew what this tank was, I wanted to show my grandparents that I do love their war stories. And boy did it work, my grandpa was the first to retweet with spelling errors, and a phone call to me asking me how to use twitter. Ugh, I think I just found my reason why I dislike using twitter so much.

- 10:00 AM –

Finally made it to the one place I don’t belong; high school, I think just being there makes me want to vomit. I don’t hate the place; I just hate the people that are in there. Annoying teachers, girls flirting with others… *cough* teachers *cough*, and I find myself asking the same question: ‘Do I belong here?’ My two friends make me feel welcome when Kimi isn’t staring at a guy’s sweat stain. Something odd about Kimi is that she loves seeing men that sweat, and I think I just found the reason why I find it hard to take her seriously.

After walking into the main entrance, I found myself staring at this guy who just happened to be drooling over my shoulder. At first, I actually believed that it was a droplet of rain from the sky. He made it very obvious that I was wrong by drooling a puddle that flowed from my locker to his locker. Yikes, I really didn’t expect a guy to drool over me in such a rude manner. Hey, I have standards, just not very high standards. I like it when a guy drools, just not all over me, and even then, I don’t quite enjoy the dying off part. He spoke to me like I knew him, and I wanted to leave the building.

“L-Lauren? Your name is Lauren, right?” He looks at me with a smug on his face.

I closed my locker door after taking out my makeup kit, “yes, the one and only, Lauren.”

“You don’t get out much do you? If you did, you wouldn’t have come up with such a cheesy line, Lauren.” He laughed at me at his own expense.

I sighed, “get over yourself, you wouldn’t know originality if it drooled all over your back.”

Scratching his head, he looked at me and then went red in the cheeks. “Ah, yeah, sorry about that. I kind of like it when I come across a good looking girl like yourself. I mean, don’t take that as a compliment or anything, I just checked you out from here to there.”

I smirked at him, thinking it was kind of cute that he wanted to lie to me. I felt a little regret, I didn’t quite like the look of him. “You are not really my type; I actually swing the other way.” I told a little lie myself, and like he’d ever suspect it was a lie.

At that moment, the look on his face was priceless, I wish I had my camera with me. Not my phone, it just wouldn’t catch the high quality horror on his face. He turned away from me, and tried to act like he’d never seen me before. I stared at him giggling under my hand, I covered my face as I went towards my classroom. “Good riddance,” I giggled heading into the queue.

By the time I reached the door, Kimi was quick to jump in my face with a mask she made in Art. She told me that I was being stupid, but how stupid am I? I’m not the one with a badly drawn mask on her face.

“Get real, Kimi, no need to find a mask, you got to find yourself a man.” An annoying voice crept into the room.

I looked to see where it had come from already having the hint on who it truly was. “You’ve got some nerve showing your smug faces in here, after last summer- I’m surprised you wanted to come back.”

“Get real, Jodie, you had no chance of making us leave this place. You are the one alone here, you are the one drinking from your own glass every night.” Kimi actually fired some shots at her.

Jodie went speechless, and I had to add my own word to this: “Actually, Kimi has a point- Jodie? You don’t quite fit in with the rest of us. You are like the outcast now, funny how the mighty have fallen, huh?”

Jodie threw her half-badly-put-together mask at us, and stomped out her exit towards the door. Kimi made a joke saying; “if you were to stomp your feet with actual stamps printed on your heels, you would be stamping into the ground ‘I’m a jelly freak’- yeah!” She actually made me sigh at the awkwardness that filled the room as our hot teacher walked in.

Hot? Ooh, he isn’t hot or anything, I mean that he was so hot one time that he went up in flames. It wasn’t real, don’t worry, he didn’t lose anything that day. Apart from his dignity, he lost his dignity when his own pants burnt off like someone pulling out their parachute. The poor dude can’t catch a break, every day we all laugh usually giving him a hint on what links to check out on the internet. Social media, baby! We got you covered on there.

Kimi made sure it was her turn to laugh at the teacher today, she made a quick joke: “Mr no pants has arrived with fake pants.” I didn’t get the joke at first, but when Kimi shown me a poorly put together photo shopped image of our teacher wearing actual panties instead of pants. I could not hold my breath, the joke became the best one yet- and that’s saying something, especially for Kimi. He left the room too, I guess he just couldn’t handle the ‘no-pants-man’ he is tagged online for that. Don’t you all just love tagging others in images they are not aware of? I do, and Kimi sure loves it.

Tomorrow is another day . . .

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