In Memory of Her and of Us

A gay couple. A pair of slaves moved to England from Germany. A mother that's dead. A boy that's been orphaned. A boy that's been abandoned. A group of entertainers. An evil, tyrant king. A sad, giving queen.


1. In Memory of Him and I



 "Hey don't forget to write to your mom before we go on," Simon said to me in a sweet caring voice. I turned to him and said softly, "Thanks baby, I almost forgot." He smiled at me and said, "Hurry up though Felix, ok? Don't want to keep the King waiting. He might punish us again." 


I thought to myself as I started writing in my journal, ‘Hey mom, it's me again, Felix. I know I haven't written in a while, but our performance was postponed so I couldn't write to you for a while. I miss you. The day you died was the hardest day of my life, but I made it through thanks to Simon. He told me your final words that you told him to say. Thank you, I love you too. I can't believe it's been almost two years now. But, enough reminiscing, it's time to talk about the good stuff. 


‘Last performance, after the show, the King punished me and Simon because I took too long writing to you. Simon got in trouble because he wouldn't go out without me. So, King Edward separated us for two nights. Tell you a secret though? I think it would have been a lot worse if it wasn't for Queen Cecelia. She always protects us from his sadistic wrath. I love her very much. She's a lot like you were. She's very loving and caring, just like a mom should be almost. 


‘Well, moving on. Simon and I turned out fine, and are happy once more. It's so much fun to be performing professionally again. What sucks about it though, is that we have to perform, not only for the nobles of this wretched country but King Edward and Queen Cecelia as well! I don't mind the queen, but the king is horrible. He's evil! He's evil, sadistic, narcissistic, and just downright annoying. I hate having to perform for him. However, you taught me not to hate people, no matter how much they may or may not deserve it. So, I won't hate him. Because if I were to do that, I would be horribly disrespecting your memory. Now, I have to go up on stage and do a great performance, just like the ones Simon and I used to do for you all the time back in Germany. 


Also though, there's something else I want to talk about. I still wonder who my father is. I wish you would've told me before you died of that stupid sickness. I wonder about him every day. Simon wonders about his family too. Of course, I always tell him that we're his family. But then he says, "Well if we're family then we shouldn't be dating should we?" It makes me laugh every time. Anyway, I have to go. I love you, mom. I'll write to you again right before my next performance. Bye.'


Once I finished writing I closed the journal and put it gently back in the chest before I sprung up out of my seat to go to the performance tent. I made it to the entryway for performers and Simon was waiting at my side so we could go on together. He always had to make such a fuss about us going on at the same time. I always thought it was kinda cute when he gets embarrassed when I tease him about it. Seeing my buff, six feet two inch tall, black-haired boyfriend blushing and embarrassed is somewhat of a rarity, so I try to make the most of it whenever I can.



Not ten seconds after he shows up Felix starts making fun of how I want to go on together. He's been teasing me about that since we were kids back in Germany. To this day, I still blush when he does that. Back in Germany, it was so much nicer. I remember the day I met the love of my life, the day I mugged Felix. 


I was young and had been abandoned in the streets of Berlin. I never knew my family or anyone. I saw this kid walking by out of the blue. He looked about two years younger than I was. I saw my chance. I took the opportunity and I attacked him and stole all his food and money. He looked at me from the floor as he was sitting down helplessly, and he said something that surprised me. He said, "You can have it if you want. Do you have somewhere to stay? Do you want to stay with me and my mom? I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you came and stayed with us. She's sick, so you'd have to help me take care of her and do chores, but at least you'd have a home. Do you want to come home with me?" He stretched his hand out to me, and, for a moment, I felt like I was the one sitting on the floor.


I took his hand and helped him up, and we walked home together hand-in-hand. That day was the best day of my life. 



 I look at Simon, see him blushing, and I start to giggle. He glares down at me and I smile innocently. We laugh together and Simon pulls me into his embrace suddenly. I notice that he stopped laughing and naturally look up to make sure he's ok. When I do, I see a small, innocent smile, one that I only see when he's doing some heavy thinking. I get on my tiptoes so we can see eye-to-eye and ask, "Baby, Are you ok? Do you need some time to yourself?" He looks down from staring off into space and we make eye contact. At that moment, I knew what was happening.


 I get down from my tiptoes and pull him closer to me. "I get it now," I whisper to him softly. I break eye contact and hide my face in his chest. I can hear his heart beating slowly. Then, I feel him put his chin on my head as I say to him, "I remember that day too; the day we first met. When I stretched out my hand to you, and you took it. That was the day we both fell in love, and became family." I look back up at him and smile reminiscently as a single tear falls from my face.



 He looked at me and started crying. It made me a little nervous, so I just pulled him in further and started to rub his back. I didn't know what else to do. I get anxious at times like this, so I freak out in my head while somehow remaining calm on the outside.


 I can see why though. He knows first hand what it was like for me back then. Lost and abandoned, I had no home, no food, no family. He saved me. He pulled me out of the abyss and told me it was going to be ok. That's when I knew. At that moment I realized what my life was missing. So, from that moment, we were together, and I was in love.


 I look down slowly at my sobbing boyfriend, and say lightly, "Come now, stop crying. You're going to ruin your makeup." I lightly grab his chin and lift his head lovingly, he smiles through the tears, and I pull him in for a well-needed kiss. Seconds later, we hear our queue, and dance together in the light, after years of sitting alone in the darkness.

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