Childhood Tragedy

I never planned to publish this. I just need to write. This is my heart. This is my Love. This is my Soul. This is my Me. This is Me. I am me. This is me.

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1. Blue Prints of My Life

You hear people say every day,

That "It's gonna be okay,"

You repeat it in your head every way,

And it makes you wanna "Runaway,"

And you hope you’re okay someday,

But you know that's not today.

 

What they say is what you hear,

Then when your mom calls you dear,

And your dad has another beer,

You go and look in the mirror,

And all you see are tears,

And you realize; "We're All Mad Here."

 

You hear people say all the time,

"I'm really glad that you're mine,"

But to you, they're just a mime,

Just another person in line,

To them, you seem to be fine,

But really you're dying inside.

 

What they say is what you get,

And that's when you place your bet,

Your life's what you regret,

You wish you'd never been kept,

For all you did in life was wept,

Now even God owes you a debt.

 

You hear people say regularly,

That you're okay basically,

But you know you're not really,

This pain you feel particularly,

Of it, you wish to be,

Completely and totally free.







 

What they say is what you receive,

And you wonder if they will grieve,

In the moment that you leave,

It's hard for them to conceive,

The idea that you can't breathe,

Or that you just want to secede.

 

You hear people say routinely,

That they truly are sorry,

But to them, you will always be,

Just a distant memory,

Because it's hard for them to see,

People like you and me.

 

What they say is what you reap,

In the darkest parts of the deep,

They don't notice when you weep,

Or that you don't ever sleep,

They aren't willing to take the leap,

To see that you're about to shriek.

 

You hear people say on the norm,

"Try a hospital, it'll help you reform."

But nobody sees the hidden storm,

Or the huge emotion swarm,

They make you feel deformed,

And never again feel warm.

 

What you hear is what you obtain,

Even if it causes you more pain,

"But what's the sun without a little rain?"

Doesn't it make you feel drained,

It drives me completely insane,

That they allow for all this strain.

 

You hear people say on the daily,

"Isn't all the depression kinda weighty?"

Or, "Doesn't it make you go crazy?"

You reply, "It is possible, maybe."

But then your hands get shaky,

And your vision starts going hazy.




 

What they say is now your strife,

And in the beautiful "Blueprints of Life,"

You fear you'll never get or be a wife,

And when you look over at the knife,

You become paralyzed,

Because you just want to survive.

 

You hear people say on a whim,

"The 'Fallout' of your life begins,

All because of your sins,

When you look deep within,

Underneath your titanium skin,

A vile creature is all you've been."

 

What they say makes you acumen,

It makes you feel almost subhuman,

And you look back through your evolution,

Which makes you realize; you're only "Human,"

Then your life finally starts to illumine,

And you then become superhuman.

 

You hear people say every day,

"It's gonna be okay,"

You repeat it in your head every way,

And it makes you wanna "Runaway,"

And you hope you’re okay someday,

And that day is finally today.

 

What they say is what you hear,

Then when your mom calls you dear,

And your dad has another beer,

You go and look in the mirror,

And you no longer see your fears,

Because you're finally happy to be here.

 
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