universe boy 2

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the continuation. the sequel if you will.

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1. universe boy 2

I couldn’t help but stare. There was something magical about that moment. I couldn’t grasp it, or even explain it. But at that moment I knew. It was him. It’s always been him. I could ignore it, I could force myself to move on. I could even be happy without him. But in that moment I knew that it was never meant to be forever. I was supposed to go back to him. He was the one I was meant to be with. 

 

I didn’t know it before now. When the hot tears ran down my face in the middle of class. Or when he lied to my face just to hurt me. Or when he left and I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know it then. But I knew now, in this moment it was all for something. 

 

Sometimes your first love is your only love. And it happened to me. 

 

I didn’t want to forgive him. When he came back I fought it. I rejected it. I didn't want it at all. I was scared and mortifyingly terrified that he would say all the right things. That he’d show up at my doorstep in the rain with flowers and a wonderfully scripted apology from the heart. Because I knew if he did everything right, I would love him all over again. And I didn’t want to. I worked so hard to be happy on my own. And I knew that 3 simple words from him would erase all that progress. 

 

But he did. He showed up. He said all the right things. He made my late night fantasies a reality. The dreams of him just driving to my house and begging for my forgiveness. Suddenly it wasn’t just made up scenarios in my head anymore. It was real. He was standing on my front porch right in front of me. His hair soaked wet with the water from the pouring rain. 

 

When I opened that door the eye contact sent me into shock. Because at that moment I knew that he was gonna say all the right things, and I knew I was gonna love him again by the time it was over. 

 

The look in his eyes was like nothing I’d ever seen. He didn’t shift his gaze one bit. He was focused completely on me. He looked so different yet so wildly familiar to me. In a way I think it’s because I never stopped knowing him. I felt this invisible string the entirety of time that we were apart. Just tugging every now and then. Just to let me know it was still there. 

 

For a second I doubted. My face almost fell. This is the boy who broke me. Changed me. Challenged me. Surprised me. Made me question my life and my beliefs. Who just kept taking more and more pieces of me until I was an unfinished puzzle. 

 

The boy that made me have to think for the first time in my life what things would be like after. He brought me the worst pain I ever experienced. But he also brought me the most joy.

 

 For a second I debated if it was worth it. If I should just shut the door and leave it at that. But I couldn’t. I knew I couldn’t. 

 

“What are you doing here.” I asked. More like a statement than a question it seemed. He didn’t break eye contact. He just smiled this wholesome beaten down half smile. Small tears ran from his eyes down his cheeks as he simply said;

 

“I found the bottom.”

 

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